The Jay's Sorrow
by amyxrollsxonxfloor
Summary: A story about what Jayfeather had to go through, the truth of his parents, the death of his sister, becoming the medicine cat. His loneliness and the nightmare haunts him as he cannot seem to find any comfort for the pain he is in.


Jayfeather woke from a nightmare that burned itself into his mind, he started shivering looking around for the scent that always felt like it was close by him, but Leafpool was no longer there. He wanted to let out a yowl of loss, he felt as though StarClan was pulling everything he ever knew away from him, he felt hurt, he felt alone. Jumping to his feet he ran out of the Medicine Cat den, he realized that it was still dark and every cat in the clan was asleep. He ran even faster pushing through the brambles that covered the exit of the camp; he ran towards the Moonpool his nightmare still clear in his mind.

'_He had lifted his head to stare at the stars that covered Silverpelt trying to point out which one belonged to Hollyleaf, the pain of his sisters' death still fresh in his mind. A frightened and scared yowl caused him to turn his head and see his sister shivering behind him, cold and alone such deep sorrow reflected in her green eyes._

"_Hollyleaf!"_

_Jayfeather yowled running over to greet her, but he was thrusted back when Hollyleaf died her black fur against the brown of the tunnel, he looked around for Lionblaze but didn't see him anywhere, he jumped to try and save Hollyleaf his eyes wide with fear for his sister._

"_No! Please I can't handle you dying! Not again please!"_

_Jayfeather begged but his sister looked at his with sad determination bathed in anger, anger at her Clan, at Squirrelflight and Leafpool for hiding the truth, angry at StarClan for not being there for her._

"_I'm so sorry Jayfeather! I'm sorry for everything! Don't you see though? It was for the good of the Clan! I needed to kill him, he was going to tell and ruin everything! Oh StarClan must hate me! Jayfeather I bet even StarClan wouldn't understand, I'm going to be all alone even in death because you and Lionblaze must think so terribly of me!"_

_She wailed her eyes watery and she looked as if she was begging Jayfeather to contradict everything she had said, as if Jayfeather could comfort her in her time of need, and he tried, he tried so hard but when he took one step forward the world shook, the tunnel surrounded his sister, burying her so deeply in the mud and earth that in a second he could no longer see her, his world filled with red, as if he could see her bleeding to death. But he could still hear her screams echoing in his ear_

"_Hollyleaf!"_

"No!"

Jayfeather yowled loudly he dropped to the ground by the Moonpool, unable to feel his own exhaustion; he covered his ears with his paws, his jaw clenched so hard that he could taste blood in his mouth. It wasn't fair, he couldn't deal with it! Everything felt broken, he felt as though it cracked under his paws and everything he knew was gone, everything he believed felt as though it could blow away with the wind. Pelts of his ancestors and of ancient cats pressed against him, their scents did nothing to ease his pain, and their scents did nothing to calm him.

"You all lied! Hollyleaf would never have died if she knew! You're lies killed her! Murderers!"

He howled into the air, hoping that these cats could feel this never-ending pain, this wound that bleed yet never seemed to heal.

"Life would have made so much more sense, why must StarClan chose what is right for us? You are spirits of ordinary cats so you still make mistakes! Living in StarClan makes no difference to that!"

Jayfeather yowled, anger coursing through his body his veins filling with such hatred that he doesn't know he's able to even be around these cats. Then a familiar scent entered his nose, not the best scent but he somehow felt comforted by the she-cat that comes over to him.

"Yellowfang."

He said softly, she gently lowers her muzzle to rest on his head; Jayfeather doesn't shy away, he breathed in the she-cats scent, never before would he think that this old medicine cat would comfort him. Jayfeather felt heavy and his paws felt like rocks.

"Jayfeather I have no real words of comfort only that I warned cats of StarClan that this would happen, the secrets are out but they came out in the wrong time. Sleep Jayfeather, and remember we will always watch over you."

Yellowfang's words felt like a promise of something terrible, yet Jayfeather felt too tired to even try and figure out what she meant, he felt himself lay on the cold rock below, but the pelts of cats curled around him until he fell into a deep, warm sleep and this time he dreamt of nothing.

* * *

Amy: I felt like showing how much everything has affected Jayfeather. Also: Nothing belongs to me, all the content{except my small idea} of this belongs to Erin Hunter! Yay this is my first fanfic hope you all like it =D


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